Long time “Cubicle Commando” chases dream
Every cop has the same dream.
Just like Air Force and Army guys secretly wishing they had been Marines. The same holds true for cops and their desire to be the best.
The guys (and gals) who get the job done.
A real life bad ass walking the streets with a purpose.
A SWAT Team member.
It’s not easy making the SWAT Team for most police agencies. But some dreams you just can’t kill in some cops.
See Also: “Cop Placed on Administrative Leave for Not Bitching Enough”
Officer Stuben Lobos was one of those guys.
“That would be so cool,” he always dreamed. But he wasn’t exactly cut from the same cloth as the big boys.
He wasn’t very big, he couldn’t shoot a gun very well, and he had no military experience, never played a sport in his life. He did look up to those guys though, being he was only 5 foot 4 inches tall.
He never gave up hope.
As the years went by, Lobos would continue to dream of ‘donning’ that black ‘balaclava’ and strapping on an MP5.
A long and winding road
Lobos had done his hard time in the “Traffic Unit”, and being 5 foot 4 inches tall, the massive motorcycle cops would not spare him any grief. The nick name “Box of flares” followed him from call to call.
“Hey guys, here comes Lobos, give him a box of flares to stand on so he can look at that 9-year-old kid in the eye”!
Lobos had enough. He was tired of not having any war stories for his wife and one friend that he played “Dungeons and Dragons” with.
“That’s it!” he proclaimed.
Like a light bulb image above his head, Lobos came up with an idea.
Lobos quickly put in for every ‘headquarters job’ he could find, the kind of job where you spent a third of the day working, a third kissing ass and the other third studying for promotion!
He was well on his way!
His years of playing ‘Dungeons and Dragons’ and the tactics he gained from that was paying off big time!
Yes, Stuben Lobos was not just going to ‘sack a castle’, he was going to have the draw bridge lowered and walk in ‘Like a boss’!
You May Like: “Cop Blocked: Cops No longer to Enforce Laws or Investigate Murders”
Who said he wasn’t cut out for SWAT? This was a tactic never tried before and it is all about tactics! Brilliant…. simply ingenious.
The day finally came.
The old SWAT commander was about to retire. His two tours in Vietnam, one in the Persian Gulf, two tours in Iraq, and 40 years as a cop had finally come to an end.
The years he put into his SWAT team, to perfect them and have them nationally recognized as “One of the best”, was his pride and joy.
Next to being shot several times in Vietnam, surviving two land mine explosions and his 30 years as a Marine, being a SWAT commander would almost seem like a hobby.
He had no regrets and hoped whoever took his place, would just treat his men right.
A dream fulfilled
The timing was perfect.
The years Lobos spent at the Mothership as an admin clerk were about to pay off.
He knew of the pending retirement well before anyone else. Why wouldn’t he? He oversaw and monitored “Retirements” which gave him time to watch every episode of the 1970’s TV show “SWAT” at least 5 times each.
The Department was at a loss.
Who could possibly take such a warrior’s position from a living legend? Who could fill the boots of such an American hero and serviceman?
Within minutes, a Department wide email went out to all those in an Administrative position. The email proudly proclaimed the shocking revelation that Lobos, all 5 feet 4 inches of him, would now command the legendary SWAT Team.
Every “Cubicle commando” within the department had one of their own parachuting from the top of headquarters into the coveted role of SWAT Commander!
Well done “Box of flares,” you made every ‘Dungeons and dragon’ player proud.
Like the closing scene in the movie Rudy, you could hear Lobos’ best friend bellow…
“Who’s the wild man now!”….
You can find other SATIRE articles like this one and more at The Salty Sarge Facebook Page.
Love it! That will teach those damn overgrown orangutans. Haha
I always cheer the “underdog”.