Public Enemy #1: What One Town Did To Stop The Madness

White Males Round Up

So much privilege 

Glendale, Virginia – Local authorities and police in the northern Virginia city of Glendale have begun the controversial task of rounding up all white males for re-education training.

This comes after the latest sex scandal out of Hollywood, the recent riots in Charlottesville, and the apparent implosion of the President.

The town of Glendale decided that enough was enough.

What was most alarming was that only two of the council members, white males, voted against the measure which called for detaining all of the towns white males.

“I’ve known Todd and Henry since we were kids,” said Larry Quackenbush. “That’s why it was so hard when they tried to run once the final vote had been cast.”

“They didn’t get far before they were tackled and carted off to one of our 4 camps.” said Larry.

“It really is the only option for our community and this country,” explained Nancy Danforth, a self-proclaimed feminist and stay at home mom and white girl.

“To be perfectly honest, I stopped identifying myself as a white girl 6 months ago,” confessed Nancy. “I think the re-education camps are the only viable solution for our country moving forward.”

See Related Article: “On Bended Knee: Systemic Racism and the Big Lie”

The most alarming aspect of the bold plan set forth by the town of Glendale was the secrecy in which they were able to enact such a measure.

“We had to use some guile and trickery when building the camps initially,” said Danforth. “Many of the towns white males thought we were building a new golf course or new IHOP.”

“Most of them fell for it, you know, because c’mon, they really are dumb,” said Margaret Hightower, chief architect and committee member for the re-education initiative.

The initiative was at first cloaked in secrecy. We had to find out exactly what these white males would endure at these camps.

And what, exactly, this re-education would entail.

The camp

Most of the white males were rounded-up in the middle of the night.

This proved to be most effective as they were caught at their most exhausted and vulnerable after working their 3 jobs trying to support a family.

One of the goals of the re-education camps was to expose their obvious “white privilege” that each had been given since birth.

This was no easy task.

A good portion of the white males, working class men, had the toughest time understanding what this “white privilege” meant.

Many of them just looked at each other and asked when they would be receiving this “privilege”. That’s usually when the beatings would commence.

Another goal of the re-education camps was to force the “guests” to admit that they were racist and that all white people were racist.

This was a tough road as many of the “guests” admitted to having more than one “black friend”.

The ultimate goal of the training is to once and for all get white males to admit that they are the cause of all of the worlds misery and maltreatment of the humans, past and present, of planet earth.

Another goal of the camps was to absolve all other races and females for their misfortune and lay this blame at the feet of white males.

Especially white male police officers.

See Also: “Local Cop Arrested for Panhandling”

You can find other SATIRE articles like this one and more at The Salty Sarge Facebook Page.

1 Comment

  1. As a white male who has been mistreated by black and hispanic police officers I think you need to retrain all males. Then there are the feminists who think all men are evil, so you need to retrain all females too. Continuing, all the LGBT humans who hate all other forms of living need retraining. Transsexuals, crossdressers and others of their ilk also need retraining. LETS KEEP IT SHORT ! ! ! Find a DNA implant to retrain everyone. PROBLEM SOLVED

1 Trackback / Pingback

  1. Elizabeth Warren Arrested After Criminal Justice Comments - The Salty Sarge

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.