Two Oregon Teens Missing After Posing as Federal Agents

Black Rock, Montana – Two 19-year-old men, dressed up and posing as federal police agents, went door to door yesterday in  Black Rock, Montana, trying to confiscate firearms from each resident.

Meant as a joke, early reports are that NOT ONE person from the town thought it was funny.

And now both of the young pranksters are missing.

Witnesses observed the two young men driving through town in a blacked out suburban. One observer however thought it strange that the vehicle had Oregon license plates instead of government tags.

Another witness claimed she saw a “Vote Hillary 2016” bumper sticker on the suspect vehicle but this has yet to be confirmed.

Not funny

“They were definitely come here’s because aint nobody ever seen them boys before,” said Becky, a cashier at Ralph’s grocery.

The details are just coming in about the ruse. According to multiple sources, the two jokers wore all black clothing with black ball caps that said “Agents” on them.

Both boys approached the front doors with clip boards and a well rehearsed script they would deliver to each unsuspecting resident.

“They said they were with the government and a law had just been passed banning all firearms,” said Warren Crutchfield.

“After hearing what they said, I felt light-headed and I must have blacked out,” he said. “Good thing I had already hidden all my guns in my bunker out back.”

Another resident, who refused to give her name, said that she knew something was wrong when she kept noticing one of the boys giggling under his breath when the other demanded their guns.

Early indications are that some of the towns people fell for the trick and turned over all of their firearms to the phony agents.

“They were so convincing,” said Beverly, as she wiped a lone tear from her pale cheek. “We all knew this day was near, you know, the government coming to take all of our guns.”

See: “Local Officer Clears 150K in 2017”

Other residents refused to talk to us or even acknowledge that the two boys were now missing.

Some even responded to our inquiries with a wry smile while holding up two fingers, as if they were throwing up gang signs.

We later discovered that there were no gangs in Black Rock, just regular folks who would rather die than give up their 2 A rights.

“Them boys made a big mistake by coming here, trying to be all funny and satirical,” said Wayne Troutman, the Town Mayor.

It has been almost two weeks since the two young men were first reported missing by family back in Portland. The Montana AG’s office has been working with local law enforcement in the area in hopes of finding the two.

They have been asking for local volunteers to help in the search but as of yesterday none had responded.

Rumors have been circulating that no lawman on earth will ever find these two.

A bleak warning to to those who dare attempt in the future to disarm the citizens in these parts…

You can find other SATIRE articles like this one and more at The Salty Sarge Facebook Page.


  1. More than likely they’re buried somewhere deep with their vehicle like a mine or a large body of water, possibly in another town. Whatever the case may be, these two kids altered their destiny by playing with fire by pulling this ruse. If they’re found alive, it will be a miracle…….

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