I have never been one to sugar coat or mince words. Sometimes these words have gotten me in trouble.
The trouble always comes from those of rank.
More specifically, above my own.
Now all of us have heard or uttered the obvious “wow, he’s (or she) has changed since they got promoted”. I’m sure the same has been said about me.
But we all know that one, or several cops, who become complete unbearable assholes once they get a couple of stripes or bars.
Why does this happen?
I recently saw a meme on a financial page with a quote that had me thinking for several days. The quote posed the following question,“does money or wealth change a person or does it bring out who they really are?”
I believe the parallels are similar.
With money comes a certain amount of power.
The same can be said about those cops who chase rank.
Now there is nothing inherently wrong with going up for promotion to better your organization (and make a few dollars) if your knowledge and leadership are ready for the next level.
Sadly, many cops who chase after promotion have motives that are self-centered and completely self-serving.
It is not leadership, responsibility, challenge or even money they seek.
It is power.
And they will step on the back of your neck to attain it.
Today’s promotional process may be helping them get there.
A rocket ship
I would bet a years salary that every police or sheriffs agency in this country has one.
I call them the “rocket ship cop”.
They bust on the agency with a tsunami of enthusiasm and education.
They destroy everyone on every promotion board and get promoted in lightning speed.
These “rocket ship cops” get promoted so quickly one would think they were sent from some outer space police planet similar to Krypton but for cops (first Superman reference).
They are masters of persuasion and even better at the one gift most cops, the genuine-non-self-serving-keep-their-head down-get-the-job-done-cops, don’t have.
The gift of gab.
Yes indeed these “rocket shippers” are truly blessed with the ability to talk you into submission.
A small few of these “rocket shippers” do a good job as they make their way up the ranks and seem to catch on quickly to the next rank and next job.
Unfortunately most are flat-out terrible.
And because of their rocket ship meteoric rise which has hijacked the tried and true process of time on the job and experience, the predominant unbearable asshole side of their nature comes out full tilt.
Many “rocket shippers” get taken care of.
What I mean is that on the rare occasion that staff recognize the absolute shortcomings of these asshole bosses, they step in.
They are usually assigned some cushy headquarters job with the other “mothershipper’s” where their assholery (I know it’s not a real word) is limited to just a few and their fuck ups are minimized.
What can be done
So what can be done to keep this from happening in your agency?
The first priority is to make the promotion process as fair as possible. What exactly do I mean by fair?
It seems that one of the biggest complaints I hear from my department and others are the pre-screening points allotted for certain qualifications for each cop going up.
Most agencies will award points for seniority, education and other training the officer has completed. Some say a disproportionate number of points are awarded for formal education.
Most do not award points for military service.
This has always baffled me.
Most police departments are modeled after the military. This model is branded as a para-military organization. This is even more true for many state police agencies.
It would only make sense to award points for prior military service.
Or maybe everyone should start at zero.
Just a thought.
The biggest and probably most controversial way to ensure these douche bags don’t contaminate your agency is to do away with assessment centers.
Yes, assessment centers.
I know that a lot of departments swear by these. I believe they serve a purpose but are dangerous to an organization.
Essentially you are letting complete strangers come in and shape and dictate to your agency who will lead you. Am I crazy or does that sound strange.
Do you really think that Google or Enterprise Rent-A-Car would promote their people this way. Not in a million years!
It’s like I’m waiting for Rod Serling from The Twilight Zone to suddenly appear with a short but succinct monologue about some alternate universe we are about to enter.
“Rocket ship” cops love assessment centers.
And why wouldn’t they?
They can go in to each scenario and tap dance like a champ and look amazing to Sgt. Monday who has no clue how you function in real-time at your agency.
You could even lie and no one would know.
I know a lot of you assessment center apologists are ripping your garments and cursing my name for even challenging this popular process.
I strongly support having members of your own agency having say in who gets promoted. Now I know that some will cry good ole boy foul on this one and trust me I know.
Some may think, those from small departments, that this article supports nepotism and cronyism. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
Possibly a mix between outsiders and insiders ranking potential candidates?
Humans are very smart creatures.
I’m quite certain if we can develop technology that allows me to Facetime with my brother in Australia, at no cost, we can certainly come up with a fair promotion process.
A process that can curtail some from shooting up the promotional ladder without knowing how to do the job.
A process that doesn’t foster an environment where these shape-shifting demigods become the leaders of your organization that destroy morale like some pandemic virus.
Or worse, letting someone else, outside of your family, come in tell you who will manage and run your police department.
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