A real know it all

Black Sulphur, Kentucky – A 3 year veteran cop in Kentucky has been discovered to know everything.

Reports are coming in that Officer Chad Johnson with the Black Sulphur PD has been recently discovered to not only know everything about police work, but everything else as well.

“We noticed it right around the 3 year mark in Johnson,” said his patrol sergeant.

“We’ve seen it before but this may be the worst case I’ve seen in my 23 years,” he reiterated.

Johnson’s patrol sergeant spoke at length about the change and the limitless knowledge base that has recently come over Johnson.

Johnson started with the other officers on his shift.

The omniscient Johnson then started to display his all knowing demeanor to the other supervisor’s in the department.

Not only did Johnson claim to know every facet of policing, he also claimed to know what other cops did and did not know when it came to the job.

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“We first noticed the change in how he would address other officers in conversation, not in their presence of course,” said Sgt. Brian Krakauer.

A bunch of idiots 

“Hey Johnson, what do you think of the officers on A Squad?” his buddies would flippantly ask.

“A Squad, they’re all a bunch of fuc#ing idiots!” Johnson would belt out. “What about the burglary detectives down in investigations?”

“Are you fu#king kidding me, a bunch of morons, every single one of them!” said Johnson without hesitating.

We were curious as to why this trend seemed to be a common theme with 3 year officers.

Was it that point in their career when everything comes together and begins to make sense.

Or was some other cause at work here?

Was it that some had gone back to Junior College and finished up a couple of criminal justice classes?

Was it that many had been selected to become FTO’s, even though 15 years ago they would have never been considered?

Or was it all of the 5 hour energy and Monster drinks they had consumed?

No easy answers

There were no easy answers.

One sergeant, who refused to be named, surmised that there were a few contributing factors to this “3-year-I-know-my- shit-you-can’t-tell-me-anything” attitude with 3 year officers.

First, these cops are expected to make life and death decisions on a daily basis.

Also, they are not only expected to know every law written since 1812, but be able to apply it with 700 different variables.

And let’s not forget they are chaos mangers who are expected to have all the answers for a segment of society that collectively would not equal a 6th grade education.

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“Do they know it all?” the sergeant rhetorically asked.

“No, but they better sure as hell spit fire act like they do!” said the grizzled sergeant.

“And I will tell you one more thing,” quipped the sergeant.

“Those officers on A Squad really are a bunch of fu#king idiots!”…

(And yes, we know the puppy has absolutely nothing to do with the article….or does it?)

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