As a cop who has worked the streets, stalkers can be the most persistent and perplexing players for law enforcement to handle.
The reasons are many.
The biggest are the laws written to define what a stalker actually is.
These calls reached their apex during the late 1990’s and early 2000’s.
Now, it’s much easier to stalk your victim through social media and the internet. But we will save that topic for another day.
Stalking, in it’s original form prior to internet, still exists.
This was made sadly evident in Plano, Texas last week when an estranged husband killed his soon to be ex-wife and 7 others as they watched an NFL game.
I would bet my life that this killer had been showing signs of impending violence before he gunned down all of those people.
Until someone convinces me other wise, I still maintain that humans are really just really smart monkeys who have an animal instinct to kill when protecting themselves or their territory.
This article will attempt to understand this animal.
From a broken heart to a stalker
For uniformity, I will use the male as the stalker in my examples.
But ladies, before you breathe your sigh of relief that you are the better sex, females aren’t far behind when it comes to this type of behavior.
Most of the stalking cases I have handled have been, for the most part, a result of a bad break up. Some have grown out of some other relationship or none at all.
Those usually involve a male who has a mental health issue and is not completely set in reality.
As mentioned, the most common is what I call the “broken heart, can’t get over it dude” or the “manically obsessed” jilted BF who thinks that these actions will win her back.
It usually goes down like something similar to this;
You have noticed lately that you just aren’t feeling it for Chris anymore. His jealousy and controlling behavior, which were overlooked in the beginning because he was just so funny, are getting old.
You have been dropping hints that things are not working.
He brushes them off as if he didn’t hear them.
You slowly stop answering his calls or responding to his text messages.
One day you wake up and you just feel different.
You have made the turn.
Meaning, you don’t love Chris anymore and it’s over.
The danger signs
For most people that have gone through one (and that should be everyone reading this), there really is no other way to describe it.
Once the jilted party has gone through the sting of rejection, they eventually come out the other side and move on.
Some have a much harder time with this.
There are some danger signs that you should pay attention to if your demands for freedom are falling on deaf ears. These 6 warning signs should make the hair on the back of your neck stand up and take notice.
- If during and after the breakup he makes casual statements about how he couldn’t live without you.
- After not responding to his calls or text messages he blows up your phone with 100’s of messages, one right after the other. I have investigated cases where the victim has received over 700 phone calls or text messages in one day from a stalker.
- He has a criminal history involving similar type crimes or offenses involving threats or assaults.
- If you discover that he has been following you or worse, put a GPS device on your vehicle.
- If he shows up at your work insisting on talking with you.
- Uses social media to make vague or veiled threats against you or anyone that stands between him and the woman he loves.
What you should do
Many people think that the easy solution would be to tell the jerk to just leave you alone. If it were only that simple. Sadly, this strategy usually has the opposite effect.
The mind of a stalker is a sad and lonely place.
It is also occupied by a controlling, jealous, sometimes violent soul who wants to win at all cost.
The courts and the judges would like to think that a piece of paper like a restraining or protective order will stop the behavior.
And it will.
For most normal people who would rather not go to jail. But this article is not about that group. What I’m describing is the real deal.
A stalker in every real sense of the word. One who slowly and methodically will track his prey, waiting for that one moment. That moment when all hope in getting you back is lost.
That moment when the only solution is to ensure that you will forever be linked to him and no one else.
If you or someone you trust are convinced that this is your reality then you really only have two options.
Stand your ground or leave.
This is only if you have tried to resolve it through your local courts and have gotten no results.
As I have mentioned in this post and other articles, I am not absolving females from any wrong doing or criminal behavior.
I have worked plenty of crimes where females were the “bad guys”.
But without question males commit most violent crimes.
And it’s not even close.
My goal is to not bring everyone down but to open up channels for everyone to discuss these threats to our family and loved ones. Please comment below if I have failed to mention other options or have left out obvious solutions that were not covered here.