The Devil Arrested for Obstruction, Files Use of Force Complaint on Officer

A training issue?

Toronto, Canada – It looks like our friends to the north are not immune to rampant excessive force allegations on their officers.

What was once thought of as just an American policing issue has now exposed its ugly head in Canada.

The Toronto cop, Officer Brad Barry, went against agency policy and revealed his side of the story to field reporters who broke the incredible story early this morning.

While most have seen the leaked body cam footage of the arrest, many are doubting the events that led to the confrontation.

Early rumors are swirling that the person arrested was the Devil.

As in the Prince of Darkness, Beelzebub, the Father of All Lies etc.

Officer Barry, after turning in his gun and badge, sat down with us and began to spin a tale that has spanned for many years.

We were all highly skeptical but decided to give Barry 20 minutes to explain what really happened.

This is his story.

A pact 

“This all started when I was a rookie, just starting out as a police officer,” Barry began.

“I was like every other green rookie. I became a cop because I wanted to help people and put bad guys in jail and save the world.”

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“But not long after pinning on my shield and walking my first beat, my heart had become troubled.”

Like a lot of new cops, Barry was having a hard time assimilating to his new life.

With the long hours and court time, it was hard for Barry to meet a girl who would understand.

That all changed when he met Brooke.

“Everything changed when I met her,” Barry explained. “And before anyone starts judging my choices, she was never actually convicted.”

After a torrid love affair of 2 weeks, it was over.

“She left me for a professional golfer,” Barry admitted, holding back tears.

This is where this story gets a little weird.

Barry, in one last ditch effort to win Brooke back without violating the protective order she had placed against him, did the one thing that cops do when their heart is broken.

He got drunk.

While nursing his 5th Gin and Tonic at the local bar, a curious fellow sat next to Barry and offered up the next round.

A familiar face

Barry had been coming to this bar for months, drowning himself in the deep end of unrequited love which was now the hollow emptiness of another bottle.

He did not recognize the man at first, who ordered up another round of Gin and Tonics for the two.

Barry, after finishing his drink, confronted the stranger by pulling out his off duty gun and demanding the true identity of the man.

“You know who I am Barry, and if you ever want to feel the touch of her again, you will put that gun down now!”

Barry put the gun down and demanded that the stranger tell him how he knew Brooke.

“Cut the charade Barry, you know who I am and you know what I want,” the Devil said.

“If it means getting her back, then so be it,” shouted Barry to the 3 patrons who were still at the bar for last call.

The two shook hands and parted.

A pact had been made.

A broken promise

Fast forward two decades and Barry is just a shell of his former self.

Somehow he managed to keep it together long enough to hang onto his job but they may be ending soon.

“I should have known better than to trust him,” admitted Barry. “I mean, his street name is “Father of Lies”…

It had been over 20 years and only one thing was certain in Officer Barry’s life. It was a life without hope.

A life without love.

A life without her.

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He had been conned.


Lied to.

Speak of the devil and…

But last night, as he sat on the same bar stool he had for the last 20 years, the Prince of Darkness returned.

At first the Dark One tried his best at small talk with Barry.

Barry had been waiting for this moment for what seemed like an eternity.

He had been betrayed not once but twice.

He grabbed the Devil in desperation and demanded he tell him why he had not lived up to his end of the bargain.

The Devil, in his usual cunning and whimsical fashion, told Barry exactly what he wanted to hear.

A crowd started to form around the two during the scuffle which was caught on a cell phone.

The last check revealed that it had surpassed 17 million views on You Tube before this article was published.

“She was all wrong for you Barry.”

“Search your heart and you will know it to be true,” the Devil pleaded.

“She was not wrong for me Devil, we had a deal. I gave you my soul, now I want what’s mine!”

“I guess 20 years of police work hasn’t taught you to swallow your pride and face the facts on your own terms has it Barry,” bellowed the Devil.

As Barry placed the handcuffs on the Fallen One, he loudly whispered one more question to the Devil.

“What facts are you talking about oh dark one,” asked Barry.

“I’m out of your league Barry. And I always have been”….

(The Devil suffered a minor wrist injury during the arrest and made an official IA complaint on Barry for excessive force)

I’m not really sure what this story means or what redeeming value it has for cops.

I had most likely had one too many Gin and Tonics which tends to bring the devil out in everyone as this article can attest.

You can find other SATIRE articles like this one and more at The Salty Sarge Facebook Page.

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